[soundlab]

- A judge asked a woman on why she wanted a divorce.
She answered, 'Your Honor, he knew I'm a vegetarian n yet he still insists on putting his meat in my mouth.'

- Woman: 'Doc, an ant entered my vagina, can you please take it out'.
Doctor removes her panties and start making love.
Woman: 'What are you doing?'
Doctor: 'This is the only way to drown the bastard!'

Q: What is the closest thing similar to a woman's period?
Answer: Your SALARY. It comes once a month last 3 - 4 days & if it doesn't come you are in deep trouble!

- A lady visited her doctor again, Dr. said: U look more sick & exhausted then b 4.
Are u having 3 meals a day as I advised?
Lady: WHAT? I thought U said 3 MALES a day!!!!

- Women asked God to make The Penis Pretty.
GOD Said 'No way; Now As It Is, The Penis is so ugly & U still Su ck It. If I make it Pretty You'll Eat It up!!

- A nun went 4 a urine test. The sample got mixed up. When the doctor told her she was pregnant, she cried n said, 'Shit, we can't even trust cucumber anymore.!'

- A boy pulls down his pants in front of a girl & asked ' Do U have this? '
The girl lifted up her skirt & said, ' My mom said with this I can have a lot of THAT!'

- Schoolgirl: 'I do not want to take the SEX EDUCATION'.
Class Teacher: ' Why not?'
Schoolgirl: 'Someone told me the FINAL EXAM would be ORAL!'

- Mother asks daughter, how is married life?
Daughter shyly says like BRITISH AIRWAYS.
Mother reads the ad & is shocked ' 7 DAYS A WEEK,TWICE A DAY, BOTH WAYS!

- What is the STRONGEST muscle? TONGUE - It can raise a woman's hip with just one lick!.
The lightest muscle? PENIS! It can be raised by a woman's tongue!

- Lady Immigration officer asked a Korean tourist: Name? Park Yu.
The 0fficer become angry & shouted back: FUCK YOU! Now what's your full name?
Korean replied: PARK YU TOO!!

- Man to wife: Business is bad, if u learn 2 cook we can remove servant.
Wife: ASSHOLE! If u learn how to fuck, we can remove driver, gardener & watchman..

- COCK say to his two BALLS: I am going to take you with me to a party.
BALLS said: You big fucking liar. You always get INSIDE and leave us waiting OUTSIDE!

- A baby dog asked mama dog how papa look like?
Mama dog reply: How I know. Your papa came from behind & I didn't have chance to see his face' !

- What's the difference between stress, tension & panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant ; tension is when girlfriend is pregnant ; PANIC is when both are pregnant!