[birdie8819]

Some definitions


Divorce: Future tense of marriage.


Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either."


Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.


Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.


Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power...


Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.


Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.


Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read.


Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.


Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.


Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.


Adultery - The wrong people doing the right thing.


Chivalry - A mans inclination to defend a woman against every man but himself.


Conscience - That which hurts when everything else feels so good.


Constipation - To have and to hold.


Husband - What is left after the nerve has been killed.


Minute Man - One who double parks while he visits a sporting house.


Morning - The time of day when the rising generation retires, and the retiring generation arises.


Nun - A woman who ain't never had none, don't want none, and ain't going to get none.


Nursery - A place to park last years fun until it grows up a bit.


Sin - Anything the other fellow enjoys and you don't.


Sissy - A man who gets out of the bath tub to take a leak.


Spring Fever - When the iron in your blood turns to lead in your pencil.


Stork - The bird that had none of the fun in bringing the babies.


Taxidermist - A man who mounts animals.


Tomcat - A ball bearing mouse trap.