[birdie8819]

Things Overheard While Having Sex


"A hundred bucks?!? What can I get for ten?"

"Mmmmm, yeah baby, take it off! C'mon, nice & slow ... That's goo--AAAARRGGGG!! Disconnected again! Friggin' AOL!!!"

"Dammit! They just don't make these colostomy bags as strong as they used to!"

"Oooh, you're so BIG! Oooh, you're so POWERFUL!

Oooh, your batteries just died!"

" ... 'Rectum? It nearly killed him.' Get it? Wait ... come back!"

"No, really, I always yawn like that when I climax."

"It's called a 'bra.' Women wear them under their clothes."

"Don't laugh -- if *all* penises were this small, birth control would be a thing of the past!"

"OK, now put on the Deanna Troi mask and say 'Captain, I can sense your throbbing manhood!' ...No, no, try it again with more accent!"

"Oh, Baby! Here I expected 5, and you whip out 13!!"

"Well, what you lack in size, you make up for in speed."

"Top 5? C'mon, it's more like the Top 3 1/2!"

"Wait! Wait! We can't start until I find my beret!!"

"Dammit Mom! Knock first!"

"OK, this time, *you* be Martha Stewart and *I'll* be Rico the gardener."

"Look, lover boy, $120 means $120 -- I don't give a shit if that works out to $240 a minute."

"Mind if I wedge my calculator under your breast there while we're doing this?"

"Shave it? You're lucky I washed it."

"Why yes, as a matter of fact, I *WAS* the original body model for the Ken doll. How in the world did you guess?"

"Baa-a-a-a-a"