Originally Posted by Fakeguy
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So after she had our son, we seldom have sex. She always talk about her "out of shape" body. I kept telling her "it's ok, you are still as pretty as before" "You are still attractive to me". afterall, she is the one who is concerned, not me. I used to PM her first when I'm in need but more than often, she will either give attitude when she comes home or do something (especially giving those Piek Chiek face) and turn me off. yes, nothing happen tht night. It is not her body that makes me sick, it's her attitude. I'm more depending to my right hand now. I PCC atleast 3x a week, we have sex once a month or once every 2 months.
Recently, I will go soft when we try to have sex. Idk why. I can PCC without that issue. She is sad so do I. She kept asking what happen? Is she not attractive? But deep in my heart, I'm asking myself am I finally sick of her? Or be cuz of her constant attitude that turn me off? now, I don ask for sex or even sex talk with her. Whenever I'm in need, I will just use my right hand.
Idk if I still love her now. I used to love her deeply and even put her before myself. Even for food, she likes steak. Whenever I'm craving for it during my lunch time, I would just walk into a economic rice store and tell myself "will go for steak with her next time". whatever I do, i will think for her. ask myself "if she does this to me, will I get mad? sad?" If my answer is yes, I wont do it. My friends used to ask me, "Brother, I want to learn from you to be a perfect husband lei". I would always tell them, to be that perfect guy, you will get extremely tired, no time for yourself, everything you do daily is for the family. you still want to be one? LOL, they often wiill change topic after that.
I hate doing housework but I want to keep the house clean for us. But why when I started doing it, she wont do it anymore? Sometimes, i'm so tired after whole day work and housework. The first thing she reaches home is not to priase me or thank me. "WHY YOU WASH SO MUCH CLOTHES""HOW COME STILL GOT SPOTS here on the floor" She would say she will mop very hard so that all these spots will disappear. And deep inside me, I wanted to ask her, when was the last time you mopped the floor? I just don feel that she's thankful but she's just taking me for granted.
I kept hiding all the negative feeling within me. I don have anyone to talk to. I kept asking myself, why do I need to be so tired all the time? There was once, after a tiring day and preparing dinner for my wife and son, my son suddenly threw temper on me and he went "GO AWAY, I WANT MOM". I know he don mean it, but somehow this time it hit me so hard that I felt my heart was bleeding. I walked away quitely. thought to myself, I gave my all to you, and you asked me to go away.... that night went off quick and i'm prepared to sleep. layed down on my bed, thinking and thinking. "Sleep ba, you are so tired already. Don wake up anymore" I thought to myself....
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