[larue]

I know how hard it is for you all, when there is no way to get the message across. Communication is a real issue for many couples.

In my case these festered for so long to the point where I didn’t want to put up with it anymore.

What I can say is that if you all want to salvage your marriages, these issues simply must be frankly discussed, and I also know that a lot of things are in fact easier said through a trained non-aligned third party.

The truth is very little of what you say now has any impact on the other party, a third party could help hammer home some points (eg bring it to their attention that these issues are marriage threatening, something that is not getting through to them) or bring up things you all may not have spoken about.