[bigbirdbird]

Shorts



A judge asked a woman on why she wanted a divorce. She answered, "Your Honor, he knew I'm a vegetarian, yet, he still insists on putting his meat in my mouth.”


Q: What happens when a whore house catches fire?
A: Some come out running and some run out coming!


What's the difference between an old cat and a baby kitten?
An old cat scratches and bites but a little pussy never hurt anybody!


The young novice nun soon realized that the absence of sex in the convent was a problem. She confessed to Mother Superior that it was unhealthy and she was restless. "Comfort yourself with a candle," she was advised. "I've tried that," she said, "But you get tired of the same thing wick in and wick out."


The English teacher of the girls’ school used to fail all her students who did not put a full-stop at the end of their sentences.. I guess she really hated it when her girls missed their periods.


Q: What do blondes and prawns have in common?
A: The heads are full of shit but the pink bits taste nice.


Supposedly I was created in god's image. I don't know, you'd think god would have a bigger penis than this.


Q. Why did the gay guy give his lover a blowjob after sex?
A. He wanted to have his cock and eat it too.


Q: Why does a one-story brothel make more money than a two-story brothel?
A: Because there's no fucking overhead.