I was actually quite reluctant to reply to this one,but it does reminds me of a long time acquittance,a 66 year old male cleaner in my office building who pass away on 6th May 2014.
His brief story :
About 10 over years ago,he got to know a working girl in Batam,plans to marry her and stays in Batam and hopefully live happily ever after. But the girl is already married with 2 kids,so the girl ask my fren to marry her daughter instead who is then 18 or 19 years old. Yea,good for my fren...got to bonk both mother and daughter at that time. Sold his HDB flat,bought a house in Batam under his wife's name but continue to work in Sillypore and pitch his new "staying place" in our office building warehouse,yet travelling from sillypore to Batam once every 2-3 months or so for years.
With his average salary plus a $600 CPF every month,all's well over this period until last year when he decide to quit his job for good and move over to Batam ;and to only come back to sillypore once a month just to "chop passport". The Daughter divorced my fren last year and sometime this year,the "mother" complains of Money Not Enough. My fren was kicked back to Sillypore on March 2014 penniless and worse still...sick. He was admitted to hospital on April and pass away on May 6th,diagnosed with Lung Cancer.
While the story of my fren may not be of a good ending. But from my point of view,he has at least lived his life. He has more than 10 years of fairly good time and even tho his ending may be a sad one. The question i ask myself then,am i willing to trade 10 plus years of good time and suffer at the end of my last few months if i am in his shoe? While this is not a good thing,but it isn't entirely a bad thing either.
For your close fren,if he is still young and has the financial means,by all means go ahead to make mistakes as long as they aren't grave.One can never know if it's the right move until he actually moved. From the perspective of being a close friend,you can advise against what "you think" is a mistakes or wrongdoing...but from a perspective of someone falling in love,it's never easy to give up something one love....unless the "love" he thinks is right at that time bites him hard in the end. Perhaps your fren may not be bitten after all and your advises are the one that bites him today? No one is right or wrong when it comes to the matter of the heart...the final decision is entirely up to your fren.
I don't know what others may feel,but i find that in life,sometime one needs to take the real bite and feels the pain from it before they can truly grow up,eventually emerging stronger than their previous self when their wounds close-up.
Just my personal point of view....
