Originally Posted by cbkia222 (Post 24235745)

Just an update:

So wife + kids out of town for their own holiday.

I flew in my Russian chick from Phuket..

4 days 3 nights in SG.

Air tix + hotel : $1k-ish

eating + sight seeing : $800?

pocket money + small gift ( dyson hair thingy).: $1.6k

total spent around $3k+

was super tired when she left ( balls empty) ,

today after waking up, mentally fully recharged for work and everything, told off one of my customers ( this fucker bargain , payment like shit, kaopeh why no stock ) ,

if want to kaopeh, then F--K off cos i would rather spend time and effort on customers who appreciate our efforts.

somehow, ( other than the sex part), just having a chick appreciate you and have fun with you ( other than bed), really helps your mental health!

and i must say, better than those fucking local sugar babies who demand for more and give less!

Originally Posted by cbkia222 (Post 24213125)

Hi guys, i want to ask you all a serious question:

For those who are married and have spouses in their 40s, how do u deal with your wives who are going through perimenopause?

For my background, married 10 yrs/ 2 kids / stay landed . Maid to handle all the kids activities.

Wife and I both work ( i'm in regional sales, travel monthly and when i'm in sg, either WFH or just office meetings)

Money is not really an issue at home, but wife has started to act out last year, either being over bearing on my kids ( this sick that sick) and i'm always the problem.

Ohh yes, no more sex ( as usual, tired and shit, been already years) and i have given up initiating intimacy.

For me now, i just doing everything to give my kids the best childhood and life. My wife, i tried doing the " usual textbook stuff", ie date nights, 1 day a week just to her ( i get my maid to settle my kids), but usually end up fighting cos she wants to go home and thinks my maid cannot take care of the kids

She has been boarder line nit picking on my maid on everything ( laundry not done on time, food not up to standard, etc) and i've always been trying to mediate things ( my maid is awesome with my kids and i trust)

We also have support from my parents side since my kids were young ( my parents gladly help out whenever they can )

I thought i was going crazy and it was affecting my heath and workuntil i suddenly read up on perimenopause symptoms and everything matches:

The anxiety on everything, fatigue , moodyness ( also no sex)

Anyway, sex part, thats why i'm here on SBF more often than ever ( from GL lor 18 houses) to recently SNS's girls and also ivanka's/ elite69s euro girls!
Plus i'm spending a lot of other russian escorts.

Its definitely not healthy but somehow its helping my mental health and i'm able to just be a better person at home for my kids. If it helps me think better, work better to do more sales, earn more money for my kids, its worth spending on.

To see appreciation and kindness from these escorts ( yes i know this is boarderline gongtao, i've been gongtaoed previously by thai FLs, need to pay for car insurance back home etc).

i dont know if the rest of my life will be like this, the escorts whom i've spoken to ( i bao-ed a few for overseas trips), said sex is important and they said why stay married if all this is gone. Divorce is out of question now as i've seen what it does to young children.

I believe its just a perimenopause issue but wife denies everything and i'm always the problem. Told her off once that she didnt have to do any shit at home or worry about the kids ( i came from operations and i like to plan out everything smoothly to ensure process if smooth).

There is a limit to how much FLs can bring ( yes cumming inside/ on these Fls are awesome for the moment), but i just need some appreciation

One of my friend's recommended Sugar babes, went to see a few, fucking SG girls think their pussies golden, cheaper to go bring a russian escort to phuket and bang her brains out for 2 days than to support one of these local sugarbabes.

Any of you guys going through the same thing? How do u deal with this?

Thank you in advance

Originally Posted by michaelpoontang (Post 24278514)

Wah lau, I'm so angry at your wife, leh! She's going through perimenopause, but that doesn't mean she can just take it out on you and the kids. You're trying your best to be supportive, even getting a maid to help with the kids so you can spend quality time with her, but does she appreciate it? No leh! She just keeps nitpicking and making life difficult for everyone. And then she denies everything when you try to talk to her about it? That's just not fair, leh! You deserve better than to be treated like this. You're doing everything for your kids, and you're still trying to make your marriage work, but it seems like she's not meeting you halfway. It's like she's just expecting you to handle everything on your own. You should stand up for yourself and express your feelings clearly. Maybe it's time for her to take responsibility for her actions and work on improving your relationship, instead of just blaming you for everything.And if you really cannot tahan, then maybe you should consider divorce, but don't just use your wife's condition as an excuse to go gongtao with other women. That's just not right, you hear?

Originally Posted by antares79 (Post 24290243)

Wife going thru the same thing starting last year, she had looked into the matter before the onset, looking for ways to lessen impact or even improve condition, physical exercise is key, not really dieting tho start to eat mostly veggie n lean protein, bed activities been pretty good
So wife needs to take steps for it,
From hubby, well I just help around more at chores, she sees me try she happy :D

Originally Posted by cbkia222 (Post 24292007)

hi bro,

wow you are lucky your wife was pro active to handle the matter :) But thanks for sharing on the importance of physical exercise.

I think that's why my wife is lacking, occassional yoga but thats it..

but thank you again bro :)

Originally Posted by michaelpoontang (Post 24278514)

Wah lau, I'm so angry at your wife, leh! She's going through perimenopause, but that doesn't mean she can just take it out on you and the kids. You're trying your best to be supportive, even getting a maid to help with the kids so you can spend quality time with her, but does she appreciate it? No leh! She just keeps nitpicking and making life difficult for everyone. And then she denies everything when you try to talk to her about it? That's just not fair, leh! You deserve better than to be treated like this. You're doing everything for your kids, and you're still trying to make your marriage work, but it seems like she's not meeting you halfway. It's like she's just expecting you to handle everything on your own. You should stand up for yourself and express your feelings clearly. Maybe it's time for her to take responsibility for her actions and work on improving your relationship, instead of just blaming you for everything.And if you really cannot tahan, then maybe you should consider divorce, but don't just use your wife's condition as an excuse to go gongtao with other women. That's just not right, you hear?

Originally Posted by baloo90 (Post 24292392)

Interesting.

Seems it is way way way more common than society has you believe. Almost 90% of my friends I speak to who have kids, say they have experienced something similar with their wives.

My understanding is women's hormones are not well understood. Balancing them is very very difficult because they are forever changing. Getting a test one week doesn't do much as the next week her hormones can change.

Add in having children, combined with aging and this puts a major spin on the body.

I've seen women who are friends, colleagues all talk about it.

I'd start a dialogue with close friends who have wives with kids. I almost guarantee 90%, if not all, are experiencing something similar. It is just not talked about by women much (or men and DOCTORS too!), often dismissed as "that time of the month"

There is heaps of literature on this from PMDD to perimenopause. PMDD is now slowly being understood. From what I have read, it is an ongoing process and you and your wife will continually need to work on it (as it is ever changing).

Just know you aren't alone, and the grass is not greener (as so so so many women experience this). Hang in there bro.....

Originally Posted by cbkia222 (Post 24296340)

Hi Bro,

thank you so much for sharing :)
When i was younger, heard so many stories about women " changing" , but always thought it would be in the 50s, not 40s!

So now that i'm actually experiencing it myself, not a very fun thing.

I'm actually at a very good place in my career now , but my job is extremely mentally demanding ( gotta put on a smile and literally suck up to customers even when they are total dicks)

And also, i make it a point that my home is taken care of ( i dont physically do the chores, but my maid gets everything done).

So getting sucked into this unnecessary emotional black hole is actually really draining.

but anyway, again, thank you so much bro for sharing too!

Originally Posted by macrick (Post 24297818)

40s should start already. Coz they r end of their reproductive cycle. You go research abit. Jialat cases, late 30s, due to modern lifestyle stress. Work, not enough sleep, poor nutrition.

Originally Posted by cbkia222 (Post 24298215)

man thats crazy.

if i had known about this earlier and mentally prepared myself, my life would have been so much easier.

guess some words of wisdom to pass down to my kids next time :

Originally Posted by huayingxiong (Post 24298972)

there's no way for prep as different pple behave differently.

Anyway, women is trouble. Without them, our little one can't survive, with them, our big head can't survive lol

Originally Posted by cbkia222 (Post 24235745)

Just an update:

So wife + kids out of town for their own holiday.

I flew in my Russian chick from Phuket..

4 days 3 nights in SG.

Air tix + hotel : $1k-ish

eating + sight seeing : $800?

pocket money + small gift ( dyson hair thingy).: $1.6k

total spent around $3k+

was super tired when she left ( balls empty) ,

today after waking up, mentally fully recharged for work and everything, told off one of my customers ( this fucker bargain , payment like shit, kaopeh why no stock ) ,

if want to kaopeh, then F--K off cos i would rather spend time and effort on customers who appreciate our efforts.

somehow, ( other than the sex part), just having a chick appreciate you and have fun with you ( other than bed), really helps your mental health!

and i must say, better than those fucking local sugar babies who demand for more and give less!